I Don't Know What To Do
by elilovesthg
Summary: No family, Katniss is isolated. She moves to a new home and looks for love. Her best friend is here, a new job, and new friends, nothing can go wrong. Or can it? Katniss faces tough decisions throughout. Will she succeed in finding love or fall into depression. Major Modern day AU


After my parents' divorce and my sister, Prim's, disappearance, I, Katniss, escape to the calming, forest filled lands of Bethesda, MD. There I go to work to collect money and start a new life.. I decide to call up my life long best friend, Gale. I'm like his PB to his J, ham and to his cheese, and best to the friends. The delayed pick up of the phone worries me greatly, where is he? Is he alright? I heard he has a dangerous job working at a nuclear power plant, what if there was an accident? I'm thinking of the very worst things that could be happening to him. The clear, crisp voice that is finally answering wakes me out of my paranoia. "Catnip? Is that you?"

"It's Katniss," I reply with a fake annoyance in my voice.

"Oh I'm deeply sorry Ms. Katniss Everdeen," he retorts with a mocking tone. After that, we put the jokes off to the side and discuss our lives. We laugh and talk, and then I found out that he's moving to a weapon development factory nearby. He got into a fight with a person in the nuclear power plant but also got promoted in the same day, so they decided to send him away. I felt like I was going to fly away, he was coming to me! I could see him face to face and have my friend back. He was coming tomorrow, TOMORROW?! I'm freaking out, running around my room like a loon, and finally calm down. I think carefully about Gale, I mean he is my best friend right? He won't judge me, he won't be harsh to me, and he's my freaking best friend!

I grab my bow and arrows from my closet, along with my hunting permit. I sprint to the woods from my apartment. Hunting is therapeutic and brings up memories of my dad. I miss him terribly. He's the one who taught me how to shoot, he drove me to school every day, but now I lost contact with him after the divorce. 5 weeks later, I saw on the news he left the earth in a horrid car accident. Thinking of him reminds me why I became friends with Gale. Tall build, brown hair, and grey eyes, they could be father and son!

Imagining Dad, makes me think of Mom. After divorcing, she got to keep us, but went into a dark world of her misery. Never ate, never cooked, never cared for us, no love, just depression pouring out of her. Her soul darkened, but now she's okay, I hope. The social workers tried to take us away from us but no one could. No dad, and me close to being an adult, they just couldn't.

Thinking about Mom makes me think of Patricia. Patricia had sunshine blond hair and blue eyes that reminded you of the sky after rain. But the thing more beautiful in her than her looks was her personality. Intelligent, self -controlled, and a heart of gold, she'd be envied if wasn't friends with everyone. Boys always followed her, some had the audacity to come to our house. With my scowl and growl, I scared them off, but one some I had to use Mr. and Mrs. Steel a.k.a. my fists. She dated Gale's brother, Rory. One day, when I was 17, a call came to me saying she disappeared. The next day, our family got another call, but from a more menacing voice that had demanded a million dollars. We broke all our savings and college money, and somehow managed to scrape up the money up. After that, we got a note with words but we couldn't decode it. We never saw her again.

I turned 18 three months later and went to college far away. Lived in a dorm with a full 4 year scholarship, I didn't make human contact except when I had to. I never contacted my mom except for when something happened. I start crying and decide this wasn't my best idea. I flee from the woods as if it was a lion trying to devour me. I take sleeping pills and drift off into a restless sleep filled with horrors. Images of dad, Patricia, and Mom in grotesque forms, an old man with paper white hair hair torturing a handsome blond guy, and that same man trying to kill me are haunting me all night. When I wake up, I wonder who those last two men were and why what happened in those last two dreams scare me so much.

Today Gale came, and let's just say it did not go the way I expected. He revealed his undying love for me, and I accepted it. He was the gentleman; holding doors open for me, pulling out chairs, and flattering me. I started noticing details I hadn't noticed in the past 17 years with him; how his eyes glow like fire despite the color, his thick eyebrows, and his sharp nose. Love at like 1007th sight, or was it? We date for a long 3 years and every day I lose bits and pieces of interest. Like ice cream in the sun, it was bound to melt sooner or later. I still deal with him though, try to love and care for my best friend not my boyfriend. We still have good times though, but we have bad ones even more frequently.

During lunch break with my coworkers, we stop by at a café we never went to before. It was really cool with live music and coffee to die for. I was considering bringing Gabe here for a date, but I see something I wish I hadn't. Gabe is sitting in the table diagonal from us with a beautiful girl. Strawberry blonde hair and sky blue eyes, she was a beauty. He leans over the table and plants a kiss on her nose.

I slither over to him like a snake and grab him by his collars. It was so transparent that he wasn't expecting me because his eyes radiate fear as I easily lift him off the ground though I'm smaller than him. The horror stricken face resembles the one of the deer I shot a while ago. I thrust him to the ground and start screaming my head off. I wish I had worn water proof mascara because right now, I'm sure I look like a raccoon. "We are over!" I scream fiercely. I steal a quick glance at my boss, Mr. Haymitch. He gives me a shake of his head that I almost miss, which signifies that I have the day off. I mouth a quick thank you and run out.

I spend the rest of the day crying and thinking. I don't think I'm that Gale, my boyfriend, cheated on me, but that Gale, my best friend, betrayed me. I basically have to wring my blanket out before sleeping. The sobbing and crying has my head throbbing and eases me into sleep. T.G.I.F. is the last thought that forms in my head before I am sucked into a black hole of nightmares. I have nightmares of a boy with blond hair and sapphire blue eyes in the body of Hulk coming after me with a sword slashing away crazily. Then a deceivingly frail looking girl with raven black hair and dirty green eyes is throwing knives at me and striking my temple. A girl that looks like a goddess with glossy bond hair and emerald eyes bloats up into a disgusting mess. Lastly and most hauntingly, Prim and an African girl who resembles her being speared are projected in my mind. I wake up sweating buckets and screaming more than I had at Gale. I wonder what that's all about.


End file.
